look at all the trees

God is teaching me so much, through the letter to the Romans and through his children. 

The other day I was hanging out with my friend Becca and we were reading Romans 1:21-25. 

We haven't gotten very far because I truly believe God keeps stopping us and teaching us his simple truths along the way.

Christians talk about sin all the time. 
Whether we are overcoming a sin, struggling with a sin, or praising God that he has taken upon himself our sin, we are very fluent in sin.

We would all admit that Romans 1:18-32 is about the sinfulness of mankind. 

Paul talks about how we have known God, yet did not give him glory or thanks.
We have exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones.
our minds suppress the truth and we worship created things.

But what is sin? 

Its not that easy of a question.

As Becca and I were discussing what sin actually means we ended up in Genesis 2-3, where sin entered the world for the first time. 

Genesis 2:15-18:
The Lord God took the mana and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man saying, "You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you will surely die.

Later in Genesis 3:1-5, we see that the crafty snake tempts mankind, asking whether God really meant what he said. He tells them that God is a liar, that you wouldn't really die if you ate from the tree. 

then sin enters...
Genesis 3:6:
So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate...

Can you feel the weight? Sin is heavy... it is a burden...

This passage in Genesis tells us what sin is.
Sin is believing that your way is better than God's.
It is claiming to be god.
IT is believing that God is not good and that he is withholding from you, and therefore acting in rebellion of Gods good plan.

Our culture makes God sound mean. 
And sometimes if we are honest with ourselves, we think he is mean sometimes too.

Sin says that God is stingy, he is uptight, he is unloving and a discriminator. 
Sin says God doesn't want whats best for you, he is withholding good things from you, and you know yourself better than he does. 
Sin says that God just cares about rules and restrictions, and he needs to loosen up.

But this is what God revealed to me about himself:
In Genesis 2, when God placed us in the garden in PERFECT relationship with him, he did not give us a bunch of rules to abide by. Instead he actually began with the freedom we have. God said we are free to eat from ANY tree in the garden. ANY TREE. ANY TREE. 
They lived in a garden, and God told them to eat from any tree except one tree. ONE TREE.

God gives us gardens to feast off of and we want that one forsaken plant. 

God isn't mean, he is good. 

This is our plight Christians... to stand up and defend the goodness of the Creator.
Romans 1:28.. "and since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done."


Praise Jesus today, 
because he took the wrath of the tree so you could eat from the garden. 

Christians, feast from the garden today.
Because God is good. 

when God isn't good

The title is misleading, because God is always good.

But, I certainly don't always believe that.
Even more than that, I come up with circumstances in my head where i feel the right to say God isn't good.

In God's good word, Paul speaks to the Romans in 1:22-23,
"Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for the images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things."
He goes on to say in verse 25 that we have in fact served and worshipped the creature rather than the Creator.

God alone is worthy of worship, yet Paul says the unrighteous make images that look like creatures and gave them the glory that alone is due God.
We don't make images, I know i certainly don't cut down a tree, carve a face into it and worship.
But our minds and hearts have crafted more gods, than our hands could make.

Through Jeremiah, God rebukes the people of Israel in 2:27-28,
"They say to a tree, 'you are my father" and to a stone, 'you gave me birth.' For they have turned their back to me, and not their face. but in the time of their trouble they say, 'arise and save us!' But where are your gods that you made for yourself? Let them arise, if they can save you in your time of trouble, for as many as your cities are your gods."

Isaiah makes fun of the people of Israel, pointing out in 44:14-15,
"he cuts down cedars...he takes part of it and warms himself, he kindles a fire and bakes bread. Also he makes a god and worships it; he makes an idol and falls down before it."

Creation, the good creation, was meant to point us toward the Creator, how his invisible attributes permeate all the world (Romans 1:20).
But instead, we take creation and make it into an idol.
This is what we have done since the beginning, God says the tree is good, don't eat it.
But, we took the creation, ate and worshipped it.

As a newlywed, it takes everything in me not to worship my husband.
God created him, restored him, and he bears the image of God.
But, my husband is a creature, not worthy of honor or glory.
I make an idol of him.

I always heard the best way to determine whether something is an idol in your life is to imagine your holding this "thing" in your palm.
Ask yourself, are you holding this thing with an open or closed hand, willing or not to let it go.

Now, I'm not sure about you, but that makes me anxious.
I don't think I would be okay if I lost my husband.

But, what God revealed to me was whether or not he would still be good.

IF God took my husband, in his good and sovereign plan, would i still call him good?
That's the harder question, and that's what an idol does to our hearts.
Idols tells us they can do everything, that we don't need God.
Idols put us in control.

Maybe its your kids, job, marriage, singleness, schooling, friends...
if God took away them away, would he still be good?

creation is good, but its only good because the Creator is good...
and creation ceases to be good when it becomes better than the Creator...

Believer,
rest in the freedom of Jesus Christ. he is sufficient, he is good.
keep your eyes fixed on eternity, for it is what we were made for.
don't let this world fool you...we were meant to worship the Creator.
Worship Jesus today.
Worship the Creator.
By the grace that is poured out through the Holy Spirit, we will no worship creation.

Israel/Palestine.3

The title of this blog probably makes you ask yourself why I added Palestine to what I have been calling Israel. 

I had always heard of the Israeli Palestinian conflict, but honestly purposely stayed out of it, avoiding conversation and information concerning it.

But, I realized that this conflict is something that Christians need to speak truth and peace into. 

It's not just about the Middle East, but it confronts our faith very directly because whether you know it or not, what you believe about the end times is intertwined with this conflict. 

My friend Rachel is half Palestinian, which has challenged me to ask questions and understand the issues. 

Yesterday we went into Bethlehem for two reasons; one, to see the Church of Nativity which is the place where Jesus was born and second, to visit Bethlehem Bible College. 

Bethlehem Bible College is a college that trains and educates Palestinians to teach and preach the gospel of Jesus in their context.

The student here are Palestinian Arab Christians. That in itself is loaded with misunderstood identities.

I will explain details shortly, but first it is important to note that most Christians in this land are Palestinian Arabs, and therefore it is beyond important for us to engage. 

So, you ask yourself....why should we be concerned with this conflict? 

1. The church is struggling. 

2. This is the land where church was born. 

In Palestinian territories there are 3.9 million Muslims and 50,000 Christians.

The Palestinian Christians are the most vulnerable in this land. 

I know the terminology can be very confusing and misunderstood, so here are some definitions:

Palestinian: Arabs living in the land of Palestine. Mixed races and nationalities from those who invaded and intermingled. They are not the philistines, but their name comes from the Greeks and Romans who called them the philistines. In 135-136AD, emperor Adrian forced all Jews to leave Israel because of a revolt, and from then on it was called Palestine.

Messianic Jews: Jews who accept Jesus as messiah and observe Jewish customs and traditions. The majority of Christians in Israel are messianic Jews.

Arab country: land where majority of the people speak Arabic and observe Arabic culture. 

Muslims: followers of Muhammad and the holy book Quran. There are two groups of Muslims, Shia: the successor of Muhammad must be family, Sunni: successor must be most qualified.

Arab: someone who speaks Arabic and identifies with Arabic culture

Jew: born of Jewish mother or converts to Judaism. Speaks Hebrew and can be either secular or Orthodox Jew who lives in Israel. They believe in the establishment of Israel as as reigning nation for the coming of the messiah and the rebuilding of the temple. 

Christian Zionist: a view that the establishment of the nation of Israel is in concurrence with biblical prophecy and therefore support the rise of Israel and suppression of Palestine in the land. 

Also, a key note is that there were Christians in Palestine almost 500 years broke Muhammad. 

Here is some history:

The conflict didn't start in the Land, in fact it started in England with the birth of Zionism in 1897. 

In 1917, because of the rise Christian Zionism, the British parliament declared the Jews to return to their land, but because they were only 6% of the people they were not allowed to have it.

After the WW2 there were 30% Jews and 70% Palestinians living in the land, which led to the first Israel-Arab war in 1948. In that war, 800,000 Palestinians were kicked out of their homes and made refugees. 

The British parliament tried to set up a partition plan that would divide the land, but the Palestinians didn't like his because they were only given half of the land they had previously had. 

The Palestinian territory slowing decreased into what is now called the West Bank and the Gaza Strip. These are Palestinian territories with their own government, but is ruled by Israel. 

They are building walls around these areas, which in theory would be fine because it would create a two state system. 

BUT, the Israelis are building the walls in the middle of the Palestinian territory and therefore separating Palestinians from Palestinians.

So, there are families and on both sides who are not allowed to cross to see one another. 

They can apply for a permit, but it has to be almost dyer for them to be able to leave. 

The wall is built 3km too far. 

Israelis are building settlements for themselves inside the walls, and therefore causing more control and conflict.

This conflict is taking away the humanity and well being of the Palestinians. 

There is little unity among Israeli Christians and Palestinian Christians because of their view of the end times, specifically relating to Israel. 

This is crucial for the church. 

The US government's number one supported nation is Israel, in military equipment and money. 

We need to know the truth.

We need to know what scripture says. 

Covenant theology asks the question who is the nation? Who are the descendant? 

It's not about a nation or a land anymore, BELIEVERS, it's about the hearts of the people of God.

God is concerned with his chosen Israel, but God is NOT concerned with the land. 

Covenant theology is not replacement theology, but rather an extension. 

Pray for our brothers and sisters in Palestine. 

I do not have all the answers, but The Lord is revealing new things to me in this land. 

We need to be courageous Christians and fight for justice, just at God loves justice. 

Israel.2

Today was refreshing.
I was so overwhelmed for the first two days, but today was a breath of God's grace.
There is so much in Jerusalem, not even including the areas surrounding , that are filled with memories of our risen Lord.
Yesterday was the Old Testament day where we walked around Jerusalem and looked at some of the key places that are still around.
We went to the area where The City of David was said to be, where the original city of Jerusalem was, which David found.
Also, we walked around the Old City walls which were originally built by Herod the Great, but then rebuilt by the Turks when they conquered the city in the 1538! There are some stones that are still left from the time if Jesus, some of which are on the corner of our college, JUC, which at the bottom, left corner in this picture:

Today we went on a New Testament walk throughout the Old City and visited the Temple Mount, which Is the mountain where the temple was originally placed by David, then destroyed and later rebuilt. Then Herod the Great added significantly to the Temple, adding serveral courtyards and embellishments.

So, today we went outside of the walls and sat on the southern stairs. Surround the stairs there were the mikvahs, which were baths where the Jews would cleanse themselves before entering the temple. This is important because it is most likely that Jesus would have taught his disciples not those steps, because rabbis would teach their disciples outside of the temple. Also, It is thought that this is where Paul was trained by a rabbi, and then where Peter preached the Pentecost message, and 3000 were baptized. This was amazing! There are more details... But it was life changing. Here are the steps. Soak it up :) 

Israel.1

Israel has been surreal.
The fact that I'm actually here is blowing my mind, but even crazier is the fact that I'm in Jerusalem!
Emotions are flying.
I'm learning about this land, but I'm also learning about community.
Everyone on this trip is so different, with different minds, ideas of fun, and friend groups.
We laugh different, at different jokes with different friends.
But there is one thing we have in common, we are Christians in the Holy Lands.
I'm going to learn a lot... But it might not just be about this land.
I need perseverance, because I've never been stretched this much in my life.
I'm at the nearing the peak of the craziest year of my life, and there are times when I'm not sure if I'm going to make it...
By the grace of God and his sustaining Spirit, I will not only finish this trip, but I will be changed.
It's not going to be easy or glorious.
But I've learned thus far on this trip, things are only glorious when they are sanctified.
Thus land is only holy because God chose it.
I am only holy because God chose me.
This trip will change me because God is changing me.
It's about Jesus.
❤

Ps. Here is where I'm staying for 3 weeks 😊

a heart ache.

God broke my heart tonight. I was overanalyzing (as always) my relationship with my loving and gracious fiancé, pondering how I can know him better, thus love him and treat him better. That, in itself, is enough to make a girl crazy. There was this pain in my chest, and for the first time I saw the end to mine and Derek's relationship. Not the end, as if one of us is leaving or quitting on the other. But I saw the finiteness of human love and affection. It has an end. I wanted our love in that moment to satisfy this deep, hungry, crazy, romantic, craving I had in my heart. I was forcing it. I was making up problems that weren't there. I was pointing fingers that weren't necessary. I was desperate. I needed to be needed and I wanted to be affirmed. I NEEDED HIM TO BE PERFECT. 

And he is, that is, my true Love. Jesus is the only perfect one, the one our hearts were made to crave for and long after. He is the one who made this unclean bride his OWN. He looked at me, as I was walking down that aisle, in what was supposed to be a beautiful white gown.. My head was down, full of shame, looking at the dress painted red in dishonor. He came to me, because I couldn't come to him. He grabbed by chin and lifted it up, grabbed my hand and lead me. He knew me. He saw me. He didn't look past my mistakes and sin, but he took them upon himself. It was scary, it is scary. He knew me, he knows me. He loved me, he loves me. He made me his own.

So, as I had this moment with Derek, weeping out of confusion yet clarity, he assured me that our love won't even begin touch the love that Jesus had and still has for his bride. I am so grateful that God has given me a man like Derek, who lifts my chin when I can't bear the weight of the world, and grabs my hand when I can't take a single step forward. The way he loves me doesn't make sense. His grace is too unconditional, and his compliments seem too sweet. But I praise the Lord that our pursuit of marriage only leads us yearning after that deep relationship that is only found in Jesus.

I prayed this prayer tonight. Not because Derek and I got into a fight, had a disagreement, or anything of the like. But God, in his powerful, forceful, romantic, not-giving-up, seeking, saving, and rescuing sort of way found me on this cold Tuesday night, exhausted...in more than one way. Being engaged is awkward, and as a follower of Christ I keep telling myself that it's like the in-between times, like the "already, not yet" scenario. But, most of the time I do not long for the "not yet" but rather idolize and worship the "already." Tonight, I experienced the "not yet," and it is captivating. 

my prayer:
Oh Jesus, I long to know you deeply, just as you know me. My heart longs with pain to be one with you.. I long for the vast deepness of unity with you that marriage only dips it's toe in. Only eternity can quench this longing.. but until then I will strive and labor, with a heart that temporarily belongs to Derek, but forever belongs to you. For the first time, I have longed for you like I have never longed for anything. Praise be to God, for the earnest pursuit of covenantal marriage strengthens and provokes the heart's zealous pursuit of aching for Jesus Christ.

I have a heartache y'all, and its not going anywhere.