When I woke up this morning my phone reminded me that tomorrow is Christmas eve (just in case I had forgotten).
But, that one little reminder got me thinking a little bit deeper about my feelings towards Christmas.
Word around town is that this year doesn't "feel" like Christmas. I agree. I really agree.
For the first time IN MY LIFE it does not feel like Christmas.
It could be its because I go to school full-time and work part-time and jam pack every other minute of my life with reading, Netflix, and exercising. I just don't know...
My "not feeling like Christmas" feelings have affected my reading of the Bible, my desire to watch Christmas movies, and my overall sense of joy.
It is really pathetic and frustrating, to be honest.
Like I said before, i like to get to the root or reason for things, which leads me here right now.
After my phone reminded me that Christmas eve is tomorrow i began thinking about what the "perfect" Christmas would feel like and BAM just like that God spoke.
Not in an audible way, but he spoke deeply to my heart.
This is what I thought of and how God is ministering to me during this season.
May God deal kindly with you through this season as you wrestle with what "Christmas is..."
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Christmas is.......SNOW.
so Christmas eve is tomorrow (remember my phone told me) and its currently 60 degrees outside and RAINING.
Im not going to comment on anything global warming but come on? Really???? It is also raining and thundering which I love, but not in the middle of winter.
there is no chance of snow in the next 10 days and the temperature will not be falling anytime soon, so it can't possibly be Christmas time. But it is....
I never understood how people in Florida or Mexico celebrate Christmas when its hot outside. It just doesn't make sense.
I realized so much of what Christmas is to me is SNOW.
Christmas is......family traditions.
unless you don't have any of those of course.
As I have been scrolling through facebook these past few days I have noticed all these beautiful families making beautiful sugar cookies. It is so beautiful. I love all of you who have all these family traditions.
But, what if you don't?
I love my family dearly but we just don't do the traditional stuff. Part of me feels like I am missing out on "Christmas," ya know????
Maybe it doesn't feel like Christmas to you or to me because we don't have family traditions.
Christmas is......family.
What a true, true blessing family is. Until Christmas.
I'm just kidding. Kind of.
Christmas is one of those "seasons" where its about getting together with family; laughing, drinking hot cocoa and wine, and sharing stories.
But, what if you lost your mom or dad this year, what if you brother or sister isn't coming home, and what if your family hurts you?
What if your family has fallen apart and you no longer get together anymore?
What if your family stresses you out more than comforts?
What if your family is not a blessing to your life?
Maybe is doesn't "feel" like Christmas because Christmas is having a perfect family. '
Christmas is......presents.
Then the time comes when your kids tell you what they want and no matter how much you saved or worked your tale off you just wont be able to afford it.
Then, you "feel" like a terrible mom, dad, or grandma, and it couldn't possibly be Christmas because the kids didn't get what they asked "Santa" for (don't get me started).
Maybe you look at your tree with only 2 or 3 presents under it and you feel sad and lonely.
Or maybe you look at a tree filled with presents and realize you sold your soul to give everyone everything they wanted.
Or maybe there is nothing for you under the tree and though you love your family you wish someone loved you..
Maybe it doesn't "feel" like Christmas because Christmas isn't presents.
Christmas isn't any of those things. Or the thousand other ways we define Christmas.
Christmas isn't your peppermint mocha in your RED (cough cough) cup.
Christmas isn't making a list and checking it twice (or ordering off Amazon Prime two days before Christmas).
Christmas isn't trying to be a good person this time of year (i work with the public yall and most of you get grouchier).
Christmas isn't putting a sweater on your dog and making sure your kids match (btw Jo didn't like the sweater).
These things are not BAD at all...they just AREN'T CHRISTMAS.
and i think thats why we're are all depressed and feeling all the feelings this year.
(if anything I am just speaking about my own heart, feel free to engage or not)....
Christmas really is......Jesus.
Yes, the real answer happens to the be the same one as in Sunday school.
Christmas really is all about Jesus.
And, not in the way where you use him as an excuse or shove him down everyone's throat.
Not in the way you say "merry CHRISTmas" instead of "Happy Holidays" because of Jesus.
and definitely not in the way you threaten your kids to be good because of Jesus.
Jesus is Christmas because he is all of those things we really desire about this season.
He is the one who makes our hearts flutter with comfort and joy.
He is the one with whom we find all our meaning and insecurities met.
GUYS-- Jesus is the One we've been longing for. He is the guy.
Why do we want snow and cold weather??
because it CONSISTENT, year after year, and it reminds of to snuggle in and for a second there is peace in the world and we are reminded of how small we are.
Jesus is the consistent one, never changing, always gracious and merciful, never leaving or forsaking. he washes his grace over the crazy in our lives like white fresh snow and for a second we can't help but to pause and feel small.
Why do we want family traditions???
because we want to be a part of something magical and traditional. we want the consistency of love and nurturing. we want to make cookies not because we give two craps about cookies but because our moms and grandmas love us and teach us about life.
Jesus has called us into his family where he walks hand in hand and teaches us the ins and outs and the highs and lows of life, promising it is for our good. He gives us the fmaily we want and desire so deeply.
Why do we want presents????
because we want to be seen, noticed, acknowledged, loved, and sought out. we want someone to know us so well that they would give us exactly what we need and desire.
Jesus knows what we want before you ask him. look around you right now. you see a warm couch, a consistent job, a baby or toddler, or a warm lunch. thats is your gift!
Jesus is our greatest gift and until we realize and embrace Him all other gifts will leave us depressed, disappointed, covetous, and miserable.
Until we realize that Jesus is Christmas we will be left with all these "feelings" that suck the life out of us and leave us empty.
So, if you're feeling like me this year ask yourself what Christmas is to you...
Let the God of mercy wash over your feelings of Christmas this year and give you a fresh glimpse of his goodness in Jesus.
love you,
Kourt.
