what's the point?

I am one of those people that loves to reflect on the past (and current situations).
I want to learn from it, talk about it, reminisce, and decide what the best part was. 
If you listen closely, I almost always end a story with "the point is...." or "the moral of the story is..." or "all that to say..." and I get to my point. 
Since I was a little girl I thought that there has to be something more to the story. 
I mean c'mon, Cinderella didn't just lose her shoe people; there was a reason why she lost her shoe. (It was "fate" or something) 
I see the details in the story as important, but I deeply believe that they embellish and beautify the main point. (This is the details part of my blog, so hold on, I will get to the main point of this post).
I realized this obsessive/compulsive-main-point-neediness in marriage x100. 
Derek takes his time when he tells me a story...and he is bound to tell me the same story probably 5 times (God love him). I would listen well for the first few times, but eventually I could barely handle myself..sitting on the edge of my seat about to attack him just waiting to hear the main point. 
There have also been times where he has told me a story and there was NO main point.....WHATTTTT???? (Yes I am learning there is such thing). 
I am impatient, needy, and aggressive when it comes to the main point of the story... and left pretty sad and disappointed without one. 
After almost everything Derek does I ask him WHY? "Why did you do that?" Why do you think you made that decision?" What did that show you?" 
I know I know, you're probably thinking 'poor guy,' but its not as controlling as it sounds I promise. I honestly and deeply want to know the reasons...the purposes....the motives....and the main point....whether its a sermon, a story, a book, a movie, or a simple life change, the resounding brain chime is what's the point??

SO, as Derek and I are approaching 1 simply gracious year of marriage, I have been looking for the point. 

I "know" (quotations represent the inconsistency between my head and heart) the meaning of marriage. During our engagement we listened to so many marriage sermons I could have preached you to sleep with my understanding of marriage and the gospel. 
BUT, just like they told us...it gets hard to remember the point, especially when your not to the end yet. 
See that's the funny thing about Christianity.... We know the end, the point, the purpose, and the reasons.....But we are still living life here in the present. 
Its backwards, difficult, confusing, and pretty much opposite of how the rest of the world functions. Doing life in union with Jesus is different (I'm learning). 
I live my life, knowing the end: Christ will take me home with him, the point: Christ should and will be praised and glorified above all things, the purpose; by abiding in Christ and making disciples I am being sanctified and made holy each day by the blood of Christ, and the reasons: Christ showed the greatest mercy and grace so I am free to rest in his perfect love. I "know" the gospel and I "know" about marriage.... But at times I forget that they go hand in hand and I forget the point. 

Let me be honest for a minute- there have been times this past year where I laid my head on my pillow and asked myself why people get married. Then I lay there and come up with a bunch of superficial reasons such as kids are great, lifelong bestie, and then I blank...... 
because at the end of the day those things don't satisfy my heart's longing for a purpose in this marriage thing. 
I forget the point. 

By God's great grace he has allowed Derek and I into some intense arguments about how to love each other. 
We have hurt each other with our words because we are sinful. 
But, it is his mercy, I know, because he continually leads us back to the point... 
When we are fighting and sucking at being a spouse, there ain't nothing about future (or present) kids or being best friends that makes me want to work it out. 
At the end of the day my sinful and selfish heart thinks I know best, can be best, and needs only the best. 
I need the point.

I had this funny version of Derek and I in my head before we got married... I laugh now because I had no idea what life would be like everyday with him. 
Like I told you earlier, I know the purpose of marriage: it is to put on display for the world what the relationship with Christ and the Church looks like. It is a beautiful picture of sacrifice and submission... with rainbows and butterflies and lilies (of course.)However, along the way I realized I had the wrong picture. I replaced beautiful with plastic and thought we had to show the world that we love and smile and kiss each other all the time and forgive each other so quickly and move on as if nothing happened. 
That's just not true. Marriage, like anything else, is real life.The point of marriage is not to show a perfect marriage... it is to show that despite my emotions, my selfish heart, and my rational and logical thoughts, I will not forsake you.
Why wouldn't I forsake you? 
Because the point is Christ.  The point is Christ will not forsake those he has called his Bride and man oh man have I done everything in the book for him to run..... The point is to point to a perfect God.



Thank you Lord for this past year! Thank you for pouring out your mercy on Derek and I. You loved me before I loved you, and its your Jesus that gives me all motivation and purpose to live. Thank you for giving me a love that brings me much joy, laughter, grace and continually points me back to the You, the greatest love.

your daughter,
Kourtney